Don't pay! Do it yourself!

Sometimes, it's a lot easier to go and pay someone to a job for you.  It's easy, you open your wallet pull out money or a piece of plastic, you give it to someone, they do something for you, and you sit there and watch them do their job. It's nice.  However, you do miss out on one thing. A sense of accomplishment.  When you do something yourself without paying someone else to do it for you, you get to revel in your own success.  My desk broke early last year. I thought about buying a new desk, but it would cost me 200 dollars.  Instead I went to the local hard ware store, and picked up a piece of wood, cut it down myself, and replaced the broken piece of wood myself.  Not only did I save 190 dollars, I get to look at my desk every day and see that I did something.

You might be thinking what the heck are you talking about doing stuff yourself?  This is a gaming and movie blog!  I come here for mildly entertaining blogs about movies and games.  Well, one of the problems in gaming is that games are getting bigger and bigger.  The better they look, the bigger they get.  Unfortunately, the hard drive Sony shipped with the PS4, is rather puny.  However you can replace it yourself with a small amount of effort and a little bit of time.  I wrote an entire article about it actually! It's really not that difficult.  If I can do it, you can! If you're interested here's the link.  Now go and get that sense of accomplishment!

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3 More Oscar Movies You Should Watch Before The Oscars

I was on themovieblog, when I came across an article titled, "5 Films You Must See Before The Oscars."  I found this list interesting.  It mentions several films I had not heard of. I watched a few of them and found them enjoyable.  I thought "Steve Jobs" was an amazing movie that I would have missed otherwise.  However, I think that he missed a couple movies that I think people need to watch before the oscars air.

1) Mad Max Fury Road

None of this looks safe to me

You've probably already seen this one, but it's a damn good movie.  Mad Max: Fury Road is a visually spectacuar movie. in every imaginable way.  There is almost no CGI, with almost all of the stunts being done using practical effects.  It is a movie designed as candy for your eyeballs.  There is a shot that made my jaw drop mid way through the movie, where the camera is ahead of the chase scene, and you can see the heat waves rising off of the desert with all of the 30 vehicles involved in the chase coming from the horizon with men on poles swinging back and forth in slow motion.  If that last sentence makes the movie sound ridiculous, don't worry, it is.  The movie is incredibly over the top in a fantastic way.  It is also a movie that is highly feminist.  Furiosa is a character that is strong independent, and determined.  There's a scene where Max is struggling to land a sniper shot.  Furiosa extends a hand and Max gives her the gun, without word.  Furiosa nails the shot in one attempt, and Max grunts in approval.  Not in a derisive way, but that's just how Max talks.


2) Ex Machina

This is a movie that isn't up for anything big.  It's a movie that is nominated for best original screenplay.  However, the script isn't the only good thing about it (but the scripts is pretty great).  The acting by Domhnall Gleeson, Alica Vikander, and Oscar Issac.  They portray their roles excellently, especially Alicia Vikander.  She has to straddle the line between a believable human performance as well as a believable artificial performance.  Seriously, she acted the crap out of this role.  Oscar Issac has been one of my favorite actors ever since I saw him in 2008's "Drive."  He is consistently amazing, and you stop seeing him and only see the character he is portraying.  The script is amazing.  The dialogue keeps you engaged even though it is talking about dryer subjects such as the Turing test, and what it means to be human, when does a machine become a slave, as well many other topics that could be considered "super heavy, bro."


3) The Martian

I don't think this movie is going to win many Oscars, if I am brutally honest. However, it is a personal favorite.  The movie is about Matt Damon needing to get saved again.  Seriously, Matt, you need to get rescued more than Princess Peach, YA BURNT!  Anyways, The thing that I love about this movie is its up beat positive attitude.  Other people would be morose, quiet, and pessimistic, but Damon's character Mark Watney is incredibly optimistic.  He is upbeat and quite funny throughout the ordeal.  That upbeat attitude is reflected in the music with cheesy up beat disco music making up a good deal of the sound track.  Even if this movie doesn't win any Oscars, it is still a good time.  I highly recommend it.

There you have it.  I think that Themovieblog's list is a great start, and I hope that my list also helps you find some movies you like.

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Which Pokemon is the Best Starter? Kotaku Answers!

Do you like pokemon?  What am I saying, of course you do.  This is a gaming blog, it's a requirement.  If you don't like pokemon then you see that back button in the upper left hand corner, press that because this blog will make no sense to you after this point.

This debate is now almost 20 years old.  My friends and I as well as the entirety of the internet have debated on one thing.  Which starter pokemon is the best?  For the people who didn't click out of the page when I told them to, at the beginning of the game you are given your first pokemon, and you have a choice.

You can choose the grass type Bulbasaur, the water type Squirtle, and the fire type Charmander.  There are a lot of arguments as to which one is better objectively.   Bulbasaur is better for the early game when you face off against rock types and water types, but is worse at the end when you fight fire types.  Squirtle is probably the most well rounded be good at first, weak in the middle, but finishes off strong. Finally, Charmander is very difficult to use at the beginning, but pays off at the end.  Also it turns into a god damn dragon.

Well, Kotaku got in contact with the creators of Pokemon, and they weighed in with what they thought was the best starter.  It's an incredibly interesting read.  They're reasons are more personal than what we might think of.  They even go into which is their favorite 3rd generation starter.

http://kotaku.com/pokemons-creators-pick-the-best-starters-1646335746


All that being said, Charmander is the best starter.

Weird Plant Golem

Genetically Engineered Turtle

A GOD DAMN DRAGON!

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Does Kotaku Deseve to be the Best Gaming Blog?

Kotaku is one of the big dogs.  It is the one of the largest gaming blogs in the world, if not the the biggest.  It and Joystiq dominate the gaming blogging scenes.  Kotaku posts multiple articles a day.  It's an absolute machine for churning out content. They have multiple authors who post blogs in their own spheres of expertise, but they often overlap in opinion or even the stories that they are covering.

 Kotaku does a lot of things well.  Their reviews are usually pretty good a covering the game, and giving us a useful rating (instead of just a stupid number).  Since their website is made up of so many different people, you end up getting a plethora of different voices,  Some people might consider this sort of disjointed, however I like seeing different opinions, as it let's topics and viewpoints come up that wouldn't normally.  It leads to usually pretty healthy discussions.  That's another thing that Kotaku usually does well, their authors are always commenting and talking with readers.  Unless the comment section devolves into trolling and name calling, they are their defending their work, generating discussion, and having a good time with their audiences.

However, they were the start of the #gamergate controversy over how females are treated in the game industry, how feminism is perceived in gaming, how blogs and other websites that deal with gaming should handle journalistic integrity.  I don't think they handled the situation particularity well.  It's actually one of reasons I chose this model for my blog.  I don't want outside factors to influence my reviews.  Since there are multiple authors each one handles these sort of controversies differently.  Some handle it with grace, others by falling into name calling of their readers, others by ignoring all of it.  One of biggest complaints with Kotaku is that some of their posts are just pointless.  They will post "news" articles that have in no way actual information in them.  Often time just reporting unsubstantiated rumors as fact, and then not even bothering to retract the information.  Kotaku also writes dumb fluff pieces that I don't think are worth the effort of hitting publish.  Now I understand that all blogs do this, but I would hope that the top blog in this niche wouldn't have to resort to writing articles about nothing.

Kotaku's design is amazing.  I love how it is laid out.  Their home page is filled with the latest blogs they have published, and their sidebar is filled with older posts that a reader might be interested in based on past reading.  It's minimal and efficient.  You can subscribe to individual authors by getting a an online newsletter.  You can create an account and comment to your heart's content.



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The Steam Controller: Should You Get One? I Think So.

The steam controller is a controller that I originally wondered why it was even in existence.  It seemed like it was trying to reinvent the wheel, but why?  I bought a steam controller from the local Gamestop (not a sponsor), moved my computer down to my living room and set up with the family TV, sayt back on the couch, and decide to give it a whirl.

Let's go over the physical design.  To steal a phrase from Apple, the steam controller is "un-apologetically plastic." Its design is made up of a black matte plastic on a majority of the controller and a black glossy plastic on the grips.  Now, I know some people don't like glossy plastic because of fingerprints, but it didn't bother me.  The design manages to feel solidly put together and there were creaks and pops when holding it despite it being made out of plastic.  The buttons are your typical ABXY affair, placed further in the center of the controller than I would have liked.  They felt a but mushy and lacked good thumb feel.  The analog stick is clicky and grippy, I would have preferred a concave top for it, but you might be OK with it. There are shoulder buttons and bumpers which are unimpressive, but also unoffensive.  These could have used a different material choice.  Maybe the glossy plastic on the grips would have been a better choice here?  There paddles on the back that also could have used a different more robust material, but like I said, it didn't bug me.  The only part of the design that confused me were the handles.  They're concave.  That didn't make any sense to me.  It should have been convex, which would have aided in comfort which I will go into more later.

 Ok, let's get to the thing you're probably wondering about.  What the hell is with those giant circle things on the thing?  Those are touchpads.  They are meant to replace the right analog stick and d-pad.  They feel good actually.  They provide adjustable haptic feedback while maneuvering around them.  They work like a laptop's touch pad.  The main problem with the steam controller is its size.

I have a confession to make.  I have really small hands for a guy.  I am the guy who is forced to use smaller phones because my hands are tiny (even though all the best phones are gigantic).  This made the steam controller an..interesting experience for me.  The buttons are too far in board, and a little too low for me.  When reaching the X button, I would often mash the Y button.  This resulted in a lot of in game deaths, and almost one steam controller death.  The same problem persists with the analog stick.  It  got difficult for my thumb to push the analog stick all the way to the right.  A person with bigger hands might love this controller, but I found it a little annoying,  However my small hands did lead to one big problem.  I found the controller to be physically uncomfortable after a couple hours.  I had to change my grip a couple times until I found something that works.

The way I would address design isn't to change the materials.  Changing materials would make the price go up, and the steam controller is already a steep ask at 50 bucks.  I would make a lot of small design and ergonomic changes.  I would make the controller grips convex to avoid the aching thumb I felt earlier.  I would also shrink the touchpads.  They're just too big for no reason.  This would allow the thumb stick and buttons to move closer to the outside and closer up to where the players thumbs are going to naturally rest.  Lastly, I would replace the analog stick with a dpad.  Having the other touchpad act as a d pad for most games really defeats the purpose of having such a unique design.  Having it act as an analog stick let's you leverage the inherent benefits of a touchpad.  It would allow you to have more dexterous movement, where the character on screen would mimic your thumb movements.

But how do the perform in gameplay?  Playing games with the steam controller is a strange affair.  Some games mimic an Xbox 360's control schemes.  This is OK, but then why not just buy a 360 controller and pocket the cash?   Luckily for you and me is that the steam controller is fully customizable.  Every button can be individually assigned to a keyboard function, and thus the steam controller can fit any control scheme you want.  This is absolutely key.  The steam controller allows me to map character movement to the other touch pad, and if you think that's a bad idea, you can do something that makes sense to you. It also allows for disabled gamers to get a layout that works best for them.  Not individuals with disabilities can make controller profiles that allow them to play games that they never dreamed about.  This is one of the biggest reasons I love the steam controller.  It allows those who are already struggling a chance to play games in a comfortable fashion.

What if you don't want to customize, but don't like the controls a game comes with?  No worries!  You can just download profiles from people who aren't as lazy as you are! Hell, I did it with almost every game I tried, so no judgements.

The steam controller didn't click with me for a long time.  I kept thinking that an Xbox controller would be more efficient.  That is Until I finally booted up a game that has absolutely no controller support: Civilization V.  My god, what a treat that was.  I found a profile that was easy enough to get to know, and I got to work.  it worked like a charm.  Before I knew it, it was 4 hours later and I had gotten through a whole game with the controller.  I lost, but that's no fault of the steam controller.  It was Japan's fault, when the stabbed me in the back and we had a 135 year war.  Anyways, yeah Steam controller.

Is it perfect no, it's not.  However, I think the potential is there for you to really fall in love with the device.  If the pros don't outweigh the cons for you, then wait for generation two.  However, if you can look past the problems, then I can recommend the Steam controller... provided you don't have baby hands.

The Steam Controller can be bought from Here!

Image Used from:  http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51bJI-6A2OL._SX425_.jpg

9 Reasons Why “The Room” Is The Best Worst Movie You’ll Ever See

The Room is a movie that was released in 2003 (though if you had to guess by watching you’d guess it was made in 1993). The movie stars Greg Sestero as Mark, Juliette Daniels as Lisa, and Tommy Wiseau as the lead character, Johnny. Oh, Wiseau also directed. Oh, he also produced it. Oh he also financed it. Oh, he also wrote the screenplay. Oh, he also transcribed the screenplay from a novel he wrote. The Room is Wiseau’s brain child. It’s nuts how passionate this guy was about this project, only for it to turn into what many people call, “The Citizen Kane of awful movies.” You’re probably thinking, “Why would I want to watch a movie that’s awful on purpose?” The answer to that is even though The Room is spectacularly bad, that it transcends its own genre and becomes a full on dark comedy. Its sincerity and its desire to take itself seriously end up what making it such a spectacularly funny movie! I am going to give you some reasons why this movie is one of the best unintentional comedies ever made!

 1) Spoons!

When you make a movie, you need props in the background. Furniture, pictures, scenery in the windows, food in the fridge, just obvious stuff. Having these things brings sets to life, and makes them feel lived in, and less artificial. The Room does its best for an independent movie to fill in the scene…ok no it doesn’t. Wiseau went out and bought frames to place around the house…fantastic, good start. However, that’s where he stops. Unfortunately for him, picture frames often come with stock photos…and that’s where the spoons come in. There are so many picture frames with spoons that there’s a small tradition that has sprung up. The Room has attained cult status, and because of this there are small screenings of the movie in theaters across the nation. In these screenings wherever there is a random spoon, the movie goers throw spoons at the screen. It’s amazingly absurd. It’s things like this, that show that Wiseau had no idea what he was doing, And maybe you’re thinking that maybe he ran out of money, I mean he’s a small independent film maker, cut him some slack! I would, but The Room cost 6 million dollars…

2) To Film or not to Film, that is the question!

Wisseau has a passion for film, which is fantastic, but in my opinion he should have tried to do a short film or two before doing a motion picture, or at least taken a film class. I remember when I saw this movie for the first time about a year ago, I remember saying to my friends, “do you notice something with the camera?” They said yes, but none of us could put our finger on it. Shot to shot something was changing, but we couldn’t figure it out. As the movie went on, it bothered us so much that we eventually had to look it up. Wiseau apparently couldn’t figure out which film standard to use, 35 mm film, or high definition digital recording, so he did what any sane person with a crap ton money for a pet project would do…he did both! And it’s so painfully obvious when he switches too. It’s takes you out of the movie and really shows you how out of his depth this guy was. You can make a drinking game out of it. Every time it switches take a drink. Be warned you’ll probably die, It happens that much. Wiseau later claimed that he wanted to be the first director in history to use both formats at once. We’ll add his name to Guinness book of World Records.

3) NEXT!

How do you find the best actor for your movie? Why, you look at headshots and then pick people who have no acting experience, of course! That’s precisely what Wiseau did. And, when they didn’t work out, he’d fire them, but he’d still keep them in the movie. There’s a character, named Peter in the movie who is supposed to be Johnny and Mark’s neurotic friend. He comes in and tells Johnny something stupid that won’t be brought up again, and then he leaves…forever. It turns out that character was supposed to be integral the plot, but was let go. He subsequently was replaced by another character who the audience has never met, has no connection to, and we’re just expected to know who he is. Let me reiterate that. A guy shot half his scenes, and those scenes are left in the movie. That guy gets fired and replaced by another actor playing pretty much that character…and the audience just kind of has to piece that together on our own. That’s mind boggling.

There are other problems. The fact that Greg Sestero (Mark) was brought on last minute to play a lead role, when he was supposed to be a side character and work in production. The lead role of Lisa was supposed to be filled by a Latina close to Wiseau’s age (around 50 at the time), and was then given to a 25 year old. The fact that over half the staff was fired at one point and had to be replaced. Basically production was nightmare, and because of it we got comedy gold.

4) Breast cancer and other inconveniences

This movie has like 4 different subplots, and no main plot. There’s a subplot about how the lead actress’s mother has breast cancer. I love brie cheese and apples, it’s an amazing combination, and you all should try it.

You see how sudden and awkward those two disjointed thoughts are, that’s how all of the subplots are handled. They are brought up and subsequently dropped in the next scene, not giving any closure or even any further developments. We don’t get any other information regarding the mother’s cancer diagnosis. We don’t get any closure and it’s just never brought up again! The characters aren’t even interested in the diagnosis. They just move on like breast cancer isn’t a big deal. Another side character, Denny, has a drug problem and runs into trouble with his dealer. Again, nothing comes of it. Brought up and dropped. It’s unclear why it’s even brought up. It doesn’t add anything to the main plot. It just grinds the pacing to a halt. The only thing it adds, is golden unintentional comedy.

5) Hot Passionate awkwardness

I can’t beat around the bush with this. There’s a lot of sex scenes in this movie. There’s so many that Game of Thrones would blush. It’s ridiculous. In the first 30 minutes, there’s 3 sex scenes. 3 SEPARATE SEX SCENES. My god they’re long too! They’re each like 5 minutes long. It’s uncomfortable. Actually I take that back, I lied. There’s 2 sex scenes in the first 30 minutes. It’s just that they reused the same scene twice. They reused pretty much shot for shot the same five minute excruciatingly awkward sex scene that they showed less than 20 minutes ago! How do you do that? How can you be making a movie and say that yup, 3 sex scenes in the first act is exactly how I want to establish my story. We’ll throw in 3 more later too. Can’t have enough sex!

6) Haha, what a story Mark!

The writing the in The Room is laughably awkward. One of the most famous scenes in the movie is when Johnny and Mark are talking and Mark brings up a story about a woman being beaten be her boyfriend. Johnny’s response to the story is disturbingly casual as he laughs it off and says, “What a story, mark!” Clearly, the most appropriate response when hearing someone has gone through domestic abuse.

Earlier in that scene where Johnny is yelling because Lisa has falsely accused Johnny of hitting her. Johnny is visibly angry screaming and yelling. When he suddenly stops yelling when he sees Mark. Instantly he goes from angry to happy, gleefully exclaiming, “Oh hi, Mark!” There are other writing and strange acting choices, but I can’t spoil all of them.

7) Throwing the old pig skin around

I don’t know why but the main characters play catch football. Like a lot. Like more than twice. It serves no purpose. They just randomly throw a football around. They aren’t conversing, or having any exposition during the scene. They just throw a football around. One of the times they throw around a football they’re wearing tuxedos. It doesn’t make any sense, but it is funny.

8) It could have been even worse!

One of the subplots that was dropped was that Johnny was supposed to be revealed as a vampire. However, it was too expensive to shoot and thus was dropped. Let me clear this up. This romantic drama about people cheating on each other, and betrayal was supposed to have a subplot about the main character being a vampire… I don’t get it either. I’ve thought about it at least a dozen times, and I can’t imagine how they would have added the plot in. I guess we can count our blessings that we didn’t have to sit through that as well.

9) The little weird stuff

This is just weird extra stuff that stuck out to me while I was watching the movie. Denny is super creepy. He asks to kiss Lisa, and before that he asks to watch Johnny and Lisa have sex. Mark and Lisa have sex on a spiral staircase which just sticks out me to due to how uncomfortable it would be. All of Johnny’s lines are re-recorded after the fact, and half the time his mouth doesn’t match the words he’s speaking. The fact that random people use Johnny and Lisa’s apartment for sex and it’s never addressed. That Johnny and Lisa get drunk off a cocktail of whisky and wine poured together in a shot glass. The fact that every scene on a rooftop is poorly green screened.

There are your 9 reasons why The Room is the best worst movie ever made. If you think I am stupid for wasting my time watching a movie that is supposed to bad, then you’re welcome to that opinion. However, if you think that you might be interested the best worst movie ever made, then check it out!

Oh yeah, James Franco is making a movie about it...so another reason to watch it, I guess.

Kung Fu Panda Review!

Kung Fu Panda 3 is the third movie in the Kung Fu Panda series (duh), and being the third movie in an animated series is usually bad news.  Just look at Shrek 3, that movie is almost universally panned, and I personally thought it ruined a fantastic franchise.  Hell, even Pixar, who has a much better record of hits than Dreamworks) sequels to hit movies aren’t immune from lazy sequel syndrome.  Look at obvious cash in Cars 2, or the mediocre Monsters University.  The only notable exception is Toy Story 3, even though they seemed determined to cash in or nostalgia with the upcoming Toy Story 4.  So does Kung Fu Panda manage to make a compelling sequel, or is this just another lazy cash grab from an established franchise?

In short, yeah it does.

In long, If Pixar is Coca-Cola then DreamWorks has got to be Pepsi.  While their track record isn’t nearly as good as Pixar’s, the have had some great movies.  Shrek, Shrek 2, and the first Kung Fu Panda movie come to mind.  I have not seen the second Kung Fu Panda movie, and I saw the first Kung Fu Panda movie years ago, so I pretty much came into the movie not knowing what to expect. 

Kung Fu Panda has the blessing of a versatile cast.  Jack Black returns as Poe, and even though I am not a Jack Black fan, he kills it.  He gives the character the right amount of goofiness, mixed with real self-doubt, guilt, and ambition.  There are certain scenes where I can almost forget that it’s Jack Black…almost.  There’s still enough of Black’s own personality to where I was getting a bit irritated with him.  However, if you don’t mind Jack Black, or even like him, then you will be pleased with his performance.  If the movie was Black alone, I might not be so kind to it, but luckily he has a great supporting case.  Bryan Cranston appears in a large role that I will not spoil.  He was fantastic.  No doubt about it.  Angelina Jolie appears as Tigress, but it seems as though she wasn’t interested in the role.  Her flat line delivery, as well as her overall lack of lines and importance in the plot indicate that she might be done with the series.  Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, and David Cross as well as Dustin Hoffman and Jackie Chan appeared, and all of them seem to be having fun in the movie.  By far and away the best part of the movie is J.K. Simmons, playing the big bad of the movie, Kai.  He plays the character with such emotion and wit that you kind of end up rooting for him.  Simmons plays Kai with a likable air of sarcasm, and arrogance.  It’s a lovable performance, but I would expect nothing less from J.K. Simmons.

The animation in the movie is among the best in the industry.  DreamWorks knows what they are doing.  From the fluidity of the animal’s fur, to the snow prints that are made when characters walk through a massive snow drifts, to the expressions on the character’s faces, everything is brilliantly animated.  The fighting choreography is fantastic.  The moves are fast and fluid.  You could replace these CGI animals with people and I wouldn’t know the difference.   The scenes that stick out to me are the fights that happen in the spirit realm.  They are beautiful.  Breathtaking.  DreamWorks hit it out of the park.

Now, the crux with any animated movie for kids is whether or not it will be fun for adults or now.  Kung Fu panda manages to this effortlessly.  There are silly jokes for kids, more complex jokes for adults, and actual deeply emotional scenes in the movie.  There’s a scene where Poe’s dad, the bird character, and Bryan Cranston’s character have a heart to heart and it put an actual lump in my throat.  This is movie that adults can truly enjoy, as long as their kids remain calm when all the more silly stuff starts to happen.  

There are some slow parts where the pacing suffers.  I can think of two scenes that I would cut shorten by at least 5 minutes, but overall Kung Fu Panda 3 is a very enjoyable movies for all ages. If you’re not sure, then I can definitely say it’s worth a rental.

Why I Don't Use Review Scores

I am going to be honest.  I used to be all about scores at the end of reviews.  Just give me a nice little number at the end of a review and I will be on my way.  But, I slowly realized that it’s an incredibly ineffective way of reviewing games. 

First of all, I didn’t read the damn reviews!  I bet you most of you don’t either. You look for the giant number somewhere, and you move on, either using it to reaffirm your opinion on the game, or ignoring it.  Hey, I am not blaming you, any of you.  I can’t tell you the number of times I have seen a game with a nine point something and moved on thinking to myself, Psht, I knew it! This game is the bomb diggity! I didn’t actually think that, because no one says bomb diggity (though I wish they did).  Or even the reverse, I knew this game was utter garbage, and this person’s opinion confirms it.  Now I am gonna be smug and post about to internet forums let people know I was correct!  I will also enjoy the smell of my own farts because I am so smug right now!  When you just rely on a number, you don’t get the full idea of what a game is about.  Maybe the reviewer is pissed because the game is a reboot to their favorite franchise, and try as they might to do write a review free from bias, they can’t.  If you as the reader haven’t played a game in that franchise, then you obviously won’t have that problem.  Maybe the reviewer loves Sonic the Hedgehog, and gives all the games glowing reviews with 9’s, even if their written review is full of negative stuff.  That stuff isn’t reflected in the number.  What if a site places emphasis on the technical skills of the game, like graphics or sound design, and less so on game play.  Then you might go out and buy a game like The Order: 1886, even though, that game is a 6 hour movie with some super shoddy gameplay.  None of these things come across when you look at just the number.

Another thing I hate about numbered reviews is the decimal system or the 100 point system.  If one game gets an 8.9 and another a 9.2, is the 9.2 game really that much better.  At what point does the decimal become arbitrary?  I remember I wrote reviews and gave points out a 100 scale.  By the end when I was ready to assign a score, I was like, This is a definitely a 9 game, but is it a 9.5, or a 9.4, or a 9.2.  Not going to lie, I ended up most of the time just assigning a totally random number.  When the second number becomes an afterthought that it’s not even worth using.  Why not just give the game a 9.  Is the .3 difference in a game score really indicative that it’s better?  I honestly don’t think so.  I think it’s a system with more cons than pros.   

Another thing I truly hate about the numbering system is the hate.  I can’t count the number of times I have seen people flipping the hell out over an 8/10.  Are you serious?  That’s a fantastic score.  That’s a B guys.  As is above average.  As in out of every game ever, the game that you are defending tooth and nail is still better than 80% of all other games.  That’s what an 8/10 means.  If every damn game you like gets a 9/10, then that means that a 9/10 is the new average.  Eventually a 10/10 won’t even be good enough.  Once you start to skew that bell curve, then you’re making the numbers meaningless. Though, I guess that furthers my point, and I love being right, so keep doing that! Forget what I just said.

Last point, and I can cease this long winded rant.  When you skip a reviewer’s work and go right to the score, you are spitting in that author’s face.  Human opinion is too nuanced.  Too nuanced to be put into a number.  These guys put hours into their job, to put their thoughts into clear concise sentences, so that you, the consumer, can go out make an informed purchase with money you have earned.  By paying attention to the small number and ignoring the larger work, you are doing the writer a disservice, and yourself an even greater one. 

That being said, I give this rant an 8.4/10.  

Rocket League Reviewed!

One of my favorite TV shows is Top Gear.  It’s a show about 3 middle aged British guys who review cars in an offbeat way.  One segment they showed was playing soccer with little Toyotas.  Rocket League is that, but on steroids.  It’s a game where you boost around a giant soccer field with rocket powered cars.  That’s it.  There’s no complex narrative, it’s not a technical masterpiece to show off the power of a gaming console, nor is it an experiment in gameplay.  It’s a game where you drive around in rocket propelled cars hitting a giant soccer ball into a goal...no seriously that it.  Wait, hear me out!

Rocket League is available for PC and PS4.  It was released July 7^th, 2015.  It currently sells for 15 USD, though I picked mine up on sale for 11 USD, because I shop the sales, yo.

I am not a sports guys.  I have never been one to sit down and watch a sporting event, unless it’s with a couple friends who can explain to me what in the hell is happening.  Nor, am I person who is that into cars.  Sure, I watch Top Gear, but that show is basically a bunch of 20 something year olds stuck in the bodies of 50 year old men.  It’s 3 guys doing dumb things with cars, and we get the pleasure of viewing it.  However, I don’t particularly care about which car has how many dead horses in its engine or what a torque even is.  I think it’s a dance move where you shake your butt, but don’t quote me on that.  But, something about Rocket League transcends that.  It’s just a fun game.  To be as cliché as I can, it’s easy to learn but difficult to master. 

The official trailer with gameplay footage for Rocket League

The matches in Rocket League are short.  They are 5 minutes of in game time, with a game lasting anywhere between six to ten minutes depending on in game pauses.  The matches are short enough to where you won’t rage quit, but long enough to think that even if you’re down 2 goals, you can still make a comeback.  The physics takes a little getting used to.  This isn’t a simulation game where you can test out your dream cars.  It’s a ridiculous on purpose.  You can fly into the air and knock a soccer ball around.  Controls are very easy.  The game recommends you play with a controller, but I have played it with a keyboard and mouse, and it still remains rather intuitive.  The online is pretty good at keeping the game lag free, but only if you play on a server close to you.  So, if you live in the United States, play on a United States server.  I played on an Asian server once, and while playable, there were some times where I had to yell at the TV for some crap that happened on screen.

This review is short.  Mainly because this isn’t a deep game.  It’s great for getting online, playing a couple rounds, getting off and getting back to the world.  It’s not a game meant to shake gaming to its core, but it didn’t have to be.  It’s exactly what a game should be: it’s fun as hell.  Is it for everyone? No, that’s a dumb question.  No game is perfectly suited to everyone.  However, I would give this game a definite buy recommendation, and at 15 dollars, I think it is perfectly priced.

About Me

Hey, Everyone!  This is just a small thing so you guys know who I am, and what it is I am about.  My name is PSTR.  That's not my real name by the way.  No one names their children with no vowels, that's just cruel.  I am a gamer.  I love playing games.  I love coming home from a really long day of school or work, or working out (and by working out I mean waking up covered in last night's dinner all over your bed) and getting comfortable and playing video games.  I also really love watching movies.  I guess you could say I love escapism.   I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to be James Bond, or be that guy from Avatar whose name everyone already forgot, or be a space marine fighting off crazy aliens.   

My passion for gaming and movies started when I was kid.  I didn’t have a lot of friends, both my parents worked, and my brother was older and stronger than I am, so needless to say he punched in the face a lot.  This lead to me  watch a lot of my dad’s old James Bond movies and play a lot of games that were probably intended to older audiences.  My parents were working, if you’re a kid you take advantage of that situation, don’t judge me. 

I have always been a thinker.  I always found myself analyzing and critically thinking before I had any idea what those concepts were.  I remember what really made me realize that I loved analyzing and critiquing movies and games.  My friends and I were walking out of Inception and they were debating whether or not Leo’s character was dreaming or not.  They asked my opinion, and I said, it doesn’t really matter whether he’s dreaming or not.  Then, my friends gave me crap about the non-answer I had just given, because my friends lack nuance, and I more than likely said it in a snobby way. I elaborated once they had decided that they were done making me feel like an idiot, that a common theme of the movie is that sometimes you have to put aside common sense and reality, and take a leap of faith.  Leo’s character takes the job of Inception on the faith that his boss can clear him of all charges he is facing.  So it would make sense that at the end he would stop caring that he were dreaming because he is taking a leap of faith and assuming that he is in real life.

That is me in a nut shell.  A guy who thinks so much during movies and video games that he forgets to actually watch/play them sometimes.   I hope you like the content I put up, and what I am trying to accomplish by maintaining some form of honesty and integrity in my reviews and analysis.

Thanks, PSTR